Jealousy/envy

According to Merriam-Websters Collegiate Dictionary:
envy  = painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage
jealous = hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage
need = a lack of something requisite, desirable, or useful
want = to have a strong desire for
essence = the individual, real, or ultimate nature of a thing especially as opposed to its existance.  In or by its very nature
accept = to recognize as true: BELIEVE

When I feel jealous or envious of someone else, I ask myself what is it that I need or want.  I used to be upset with the other person and wonder why they got to have something and I didn't.  I have learned to silently thank them for showing me clearly what it is that I want. 

First, I do my best to let my thoughts go about it, then take a minute to really feel the feelings in my body and tell myself what it feels like and I name the feeling.  Oh yes, that is the feeling of jealousy/envy and that is part of being human. As difficult as this is, it really does pass quickly.

 I look within to see what I think is missing and what I want to fill with whatever it is that I think that they have that I want.  It really is all about me!  Once I identify what I want that I think I don't have, I have a little conversation with myself that goes something like this:

For example - if a friend travels often and I want to travel and don't presently have the money to do so, I may feel jealous and envious.
 
What need is not being filled for me?
What is the essence of what I want?  
My need to get out of town in the dead of winter? 
Why?  Because I want to experience something new. 
Why? Because I feel stale, bored, and anxious. 
Why? Because I don't have the money to do what I want when I want. 
Oh! So you think money will buy you the freedom to travel and ease your stress in the middle of a long winter, so you feel jealous that a friend can do that and you can't?
Yes.
I want the freedom to do what I want when I want.
Ahhhh, so that's it.
Do I feel powerless to make the changes I need to make to create my life?
Sometimes I do.  Oh my, time to change that.
Really I want freedom to make choices and I think that money will provide that freedom for me.  At least in this scenerio. 
Great. 
Next question is "So what are you going to do about it?"

Action needs to follow, otherwise I will wallow.  Wallow in the yucky feelings of jealously and envy.

What I want to feel is confident that I have the control of my life to do what I want when I want. 

Therefore, I create intentions and goals and make a plan as to how I will go to the Carribean next February.  Maybe it will happen next year, maybe it will take 2 years.  However, it is up to me to take the reins and make the choices now to get what I want in the future.  My first choice is to quit whining.

After recognizing what is underneath it all I can feel good  by being grateful right now for the little things that do bring me the feelings of personal power and control. 

I acknowledge myself for the little steps I take towards what I want and I find free ways of satisfying the needs/wants that I presently have.

 I accept where I am now, create intentions and goals, and then let my thoughts go about it. 

I have done all I can do in this moment. 

Peace within is restored and I feel excited to embark on this new adventure of learning to live my life, my way.

Use jealousy and envy to jumpstart a new endeavor.  Take control.  Live authentically.  http.liveauthentically.org

My answer to myself = I intend to teach Live Authentically destination courses so I can travel to beautiful places and get paid for it!

Peace

Peace within ourselves creates peace within our home, which creates peace wherever we go, which creates peace within the world...if we all felt peace within ourselves.

Peace be with you. Live authentically. http://liveauthentically.org

Courage

Ah yes, courage.  The courage to be yourself.  No one can give you that. You must find it within yourself and the only way to do that is to go through challenges, face your fears and look directly at them with courage. Ouch while it's happening, powerful when it's over and you discover that a whole new strong part of you emerged from the pain. Have courage. Live authentically. http://liveauthentically.org

Personal guidelines

Write down your own personal guidelines that state what is important to you and how you intend to treat yourself and how you want others to treat you. This will help you to be kind to yourself and when you interact with others you will know what is OK for you and what is not. 

In a group situation creating guidelines helps to form the group through a bonding process that occurs when common values are spoken and written. They can then be displayed where the group can see what they have chosen to be in their shared environment. These are examples of guidelines that have been used in Live Authentically groups:

Positive energy, Honesty, Acceptance, Value yourself, Honor what you have to offer, Integrity, Respect, Excitement, Hope, Vision, FUN!, Don't take yourself so seriously!

What's important to you?  Write it down. Memorize it. Honor it and others will too. Live Authentically. http://liveauthentically.org/

Let your thoughts go

Practice letting your anxious, judgmental, self-defeating, know-it-all, anlyzing, or any other harmful thoughts go.  Whatever you are thinking right now, just let it go.  As you practice letting your ego thoughts go, you will be able to hear your inner wisdom, those ah-ha thoughts, the ones that you know are coming from deep within you that you can trust. Be in the moment. Let life flow through you. Live authentically. http://liveauthentically.org/

For more information on letting your thoughts go, being mindful, and being in the moment check out a few of these books:  The Power of Now by Eckart Tolle, The Wisdom Within by Roger Mills and Elsie Spittle, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson, The Speed Trap by Joseph Bailey, The Enlightened Gardender by Sydney Banks, and Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi