I am usually not a follower of royalty or celebrities. However, I occasionally check up on them while perusing magazines when I am at the hair salon.
This morning, I watched the royal wedding on TV as I had in 1981 when Prince Charles married Princess Diana. I had the time and I was intrigued with how a royal wedding works and I appreciate the beauty and extraodinariness of it all. I could think of it as out of proportion to the rest of the world, but I prefer to think that it is a grand display of the best of what can be. This is not to say that simple and ordinary isn't good. I think it is. I am saying that I like to see just how extravagant humans can be and the British carry it off well.
The high standards of the how the Brits behave and the elegance,quality, and tradition is surpassed by none. The new royal couple act with intergrity, grace, style, and humility, seemingly willing to serve others in their highest capacity as well as maintain a secure sense of self. They genuinely like and respect each other which perhaps other young couples will emulate.
I enjoyed a little break from my everyday routine with a display of love and commitment from the young royal couple. Best wishes William and Kate and thank you for sharing your special time with the world.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Gratitude
According to the Positive Psychology textbook written by C.R. Snyder and Shane J. Lopez, research done by psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael McCullogh shows that "those who kept a weekly gratitude journal...were (1) more optimistic, (2) more energetic, (3) more connected to other people, and (4) more likely to have a restful sleep." (2007, p. 274)
Name 3 things right now that you are grateful for. Gratitudes can be as simple as being grateful for a warm sunny day or as big as being grateful for a miracle that has happened in your life. When the temptation to complain arises, go ahead and get it out if you need to, then as Grandma said, "Count your blessings."
Often we take our lives for granted until something bad happens such as a health issue. Just notice your hands and how they work, or your eyes, or your legs. Give them a little attention and a little love and see how they become stronger or you feel more grateful for what they do. Be really clear with yourself as to what they mean to you and why. Say and write down the reasons you are grateful for them. This is easier to do when you meet someone who doesn't have arms or their eyesight. With practice gratitude becomes a way of life.
Use this process when you think of your spouse, children, friends, money, or any other part of your life. Even use it for your enemies or those who you don't get along with. What? Yes, notice what opportunites lie in the difficulties you have with them. Are you learning tolerance? Patience? Trust? Personal boundries? Standing up for yourself? Once you recognize what you are learning, you may find that the person disappears into the background of your life. Thank them silently or out loud for being there to help you to become a better person. Think of times when perhaps you were the one who challenged someone else through your behavior...and we all have at one time or another.
How can you be grateful during the real hardships in life such as the death of a loved one or a natural disaster? Only you can figure that out. Even during crises there are things to be grateful for...help received, kind people, sunshine, fresh water, sometimes just this moment. Find the nuggets and hold tight to them.
Years ago, I was waitressing in a restaurant in Alaska. Lakdar, who was a Muslim from North Africa was the host and my friend. Whenever I got after him for seating me too many tables at one time, he would say "Thank you Martha." I would retort "Why are you thanking me Lakdar? I am yelling at you!" He answered that he didn't know, he was just taught to do that. Many times throughout the years I have thought back on those times and have since discovered in my studies that some people learn to be grateful for everything in life; the good and the bad. I am grateful to Lakdar for that lesson as well as the comical picture I get in my mind about me yelling and him saying thank you! (My husband doesn't do this.)
Change your thoughts by being grateful through your speech and by writing them down. Writing makes ideas more concrete and real. Then notice how your life beings to change, one thought at a time.
Be grateful. Live authentically. http://liveauthentically.org
Name 3 things right now that you are grateful for. Gratitudes can be as simple as being grateful for a warm sunny day or as big as being grateful for a miracle that has happened in your life. When the temptation to complain arises, go ahead and get it out if you need to, then as Grandma said, "Count your blessings."
Often we take our lives for granted until something bad happens such as a health issue. Just notice your hands and how they work, or your eyes, or your legs. Give them a little attention and a little love and see how they become stronger or you feel more grateful for what they do. Be really clear with yourself as to what they mean to you and why. Say and write down the reasons you are grateful for them. This is easier to do when you meet someone who doesn't have arms or their eyesight. With practice gratitude becomes a way of life.
Use this process when you think of your spouse, children, friends, money, or any other part of your life. Even use it for your enemies or those who you don't get along with. What? Yes, notice what opportunites lie in the difficulties you have with them. Are you learning tolerance? Patience? Trust? Personal boundries? Standing up for yourself? Once you recognize what you are learning, you may find that the person disappears into the background of your life. Thank them silently or out loud for being there to help you to become a better person. Think of times when perhaps you were the one who challenged someone else through your behavior...and we all have at one time or another.
How can you be grateful during the real hardships in life such as the death of a loved one or a natural disaster? Only you can figure that out. Even during crises there are things to be grateful for...help received, kind people, sunshine, fresh water, sometimes just this moment. Find the nuggets and hold tight to them.
Years ago, I was waitressing in a restaurant in Alaska. Lakdar, who was a Muslim from North Africa was the host and my friend. Whenever I got after him for seating me too many tables at one time, he would say "Thank you Martha." I would retort "Why are you thanking me Lakdar? I am yelling at you!" He answered that he didn't know, he was just taught to do that. Many times throughout the years I have thought back on those times and have since discovered in my studies that some people learn to be grateful for everything in life; the good and the bad. I am grateful to Lakdar for that lesson as well as the comical picture I get in my mind about me yelling and him saying thank you! (My husband doesn't do this.)
Change your thoughts by being grateful through your speech and by writing them down. Writing makes ideas more concrete and real. Then notice how your life beings to change, one thought at a time.
Be grateful. Live authentically. http://liveauthentically.org
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Personal guidelines and trust
Write down personal guidelines to be clear with yourself about how you treat yourself and how you want others to treat you. Examples are trust, integrity, humor. Define the words you've chosen and and write down how you want them to be or show up in your life. Be clear and dig deep. This will help you to really know without a doubt why this is important to you, which makes it easier to live your life, your way (not someone elses way.)
For example:
Websters definition of trust = assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. To rely on the truthfulness of. BELIEVE
My guideline for trust = I trust myself and I choose to have relationships with people I trust.
How I want trust to be or show up in my life:
For those who do not and are in my life or come through my life, I do my best to recognize that they are unconsciously stuck in patterns that hurt them and it is not about me, rather it is their own "stuff" to work through. I learn to just be a sounding board or mirror for them to see themselves, say a quiet prayer, and let it go. Then I spend as little time as I can with them to protect myself from the negativity.
It is OK for me to have these boundries or guidelines. And it is OK to speak of them and live them. That is trusting and honoring myself.
For example:
Websters definition of trust = assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. To rely on the truthfulness of. BELIEVE
My guideline for trust = I trust myself and I choose to have relationships with people I trust.
How I want trust to be or show up in my life:
- I practice recognizing and acknowledging myself when I trust my own intuition, decisions, and thoughts.
- I learn to see the difference between high quality and low quality thoughts so I learn to trust the high quality thoughts and let the low quality ones go.
- My words and actions match so I know that I will do what I say I will do and others know this about me too. This helps me to trust myself and others to trust me too.
- When I say something, I am clear with my information. When citing information, I have done my research so I pass on accurate information.
- I do my best to know my own feelings and thoughts and can relay them to others with clarity.
- I am truthful with my words.
For those who do not and are in my life or come through my life, I do my best to recognize that they are unconsciously stuck in patterns that hurt them and it is not about me, rather it is their own "stuff" to work through. I learn to just be a sounding board or mirror for them to see themselves, say a quiet prayer, and let it go. Then I spend as little time as I can with them to protect myself from the negativity.
It is OK for me to have these boundries or guidelines. And it is OK to speak of them and live them. That is trusting and honoring myself.
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